An Expedition to Chiang Mai

[Author's note: I'm a 19th century British Colonial Anthropologist. The facts are, well, facts and the interpretations are based on an entirely objective analysis of empirical observations gained via the use of the scientific method. Obviously.]

November 14 - Day 1 "A much anticipated meeting with the great Tribal Leader"

Our party set out for the distant village of Chiang Mai on the eve of November 13 in the hopes of making contact with a little heard of tribe dwelling on the fringes of said place. Our party had been fortunate enough to make initial contact with the Tribal Leader some weeks prior through a popular networking site, http://www.couchsurfing.org . He seemed a most friendly and accommodating fellow and many members of our party who had experienced anxiety at the prospect of encountering a strange tribe for the first time felt much relief.

The Encounter

The majority population of Chiang Mai is comprised of a large tribe of brown skinned people. One of them was kind enough to offer our weary party transport to the house of the Tribal Leader of the small tribe it was our object to study. He did this in exchange for some trivial amount of currency, but perhaps a belt or bracelet could have been offered in its stead. Upon arrival, the Tribal Leader greeted our party with a most gruff and authoritarian tone so as to establish his dominance. Many members of our party fled in fear of his ferocity.


Here is photographic evidence of the great Tribal Leader at his most ferocious. Note how he bares his teeth, clearly a means by which to indicate his aggressive nature and desire for dominance.


Tribal Expressions of Sexuality

Upon arrival in his dwelling place, our party was at once struck by the noble Tribal Leader's desire to communicate his preoccupation with his virility with what appeared to be strategically placed condoms and pornographic material [Author's note: The Tribal Leader later explained that Maxim is a male interest magazine and not pornographic. Our party is amused by this distinction.] Several members of our party at this point fled in a state of intimidation and discomfort, but those members of our party who remained fearless accompanied the Tribal Leader to his neighboring tribal apartment to meet with several of his closest associates where we were greeted by a strange and unexpected sight: three people in bed together in such a state of comfort so as to cause one to desire to join them in their lounging. Clearly this was a ploy to tempt members of our party into joining the tribe in their strange sexual practices. Our party repressed any urges to do so.

The great Tribal Leader left our party in the care of these new acquaintances while he pursued a means to support his need for sustenance; he went to teach English to members of neighboring tribes people. The tribal threesome, into whose care we were left, proved to be quite welcoming, allowing us to relay messages to our homeland via the use of a well traveled laptop.

Upon the return of the Tribal Leader, our party joined the tribes people in a quest for much needed nourishment. The Tribal Leader, through his mastery of the brown tribe's language, was most helpful in assisting our party in procuring quality food products. We were most thankful. Many members of our party began to feel quite at ease with the members of this small tribe, perhaps even the kindling of friendships emerged.